July 18, 2007
So it's 12:18 am...I go to work in approximately 10 hours...and I can't sleep. Charlie is overhead snoring quite loudly, there's a train that's passing by at the moment, and all I can think about is how in the world I'm going to make sure I make it through my last year at Snow College. Then I start thinking ok, I'll study...shut myself in the library all day long...and have zero fun. How boring is that! Not to mention socially and then soon to be mentally painful. I'll honestly just start talking to myself and wonder how I got in that mess in the first place. Soon enough I'll start answering my own self, and we all know that's not good. So option #1...exnae. Option #2...Balance my schedule, but always do my studies before play. Easier said than done my friends...easier said than done. How do you motivate yourself to do something (like homework) that you really don't want to do. I suppose in my case it's my last chance to prove my responsibility and maturity to myself and my parents especially, but I suck at test taking, so in that case that means I don't know how to study well. But I hate studying with someone else because either one of us is usually unfocused and I'm either at a faster or slower pace. And in the middle of the whole school process I don't want to loose my drive or my focus to be there in the first place. Mom says I do it often. I start something with vigor and then just shut off or quit trying or have a lack for trying after a while. What's wrong with me? Nothing really I know, but how do I fix it? See? I can't even stay on the same subject. Hahaha...well at least now I'm feeling a little sleepy. Good night.